I spent two summers bicycling to both grandparent's homes. The first year to Angelina's and the second year to Winifred's. Winifred was much like my Mom, never had a bad word for anyone, was contented and a very pleasant and funny person. Paul owned a quadplex on 24th Street and Winifred lived next to him and Aunt Lee. Paul saw her every day, bought her groceries every week and she commented to me then that he never accepted a cent for it. I learned just recently that he never accepted any payment for rent. She was part of his and his family's life. His children learned from her and they gave her pleasure, purpose and comfort in her old age.
I later was in high school and grandma was in Niagara Falls Memorial. She didn't go to doctors and I knew it was serious. After school I would go to see her. At the start of my visits, she was still happy and entertaining, but as the visits progressed, she became less active and slept more. Paul was there virtually every time after work. I continued the visits and Paul many times would happily drive me home in his silver phantom, a battered old Ford F100 pickup truck and talk to me about his dog, Shadrack, I believe. I used to wake Grandma and talk to her, but she seemed increasingly tired. One day I was late and he was there. He didn't wake her and just silently sat by her. I did the same. After that I, being an adult and all, just did the same. He never told me Grandma was dying, he just let me figure it out.
Funny thing, he didn't take any crap or excuses from anyone, but he never spoke up to Mother, as he called Aunt Lee. He understood you had to take responsibility for your actions and have initiative to succeed, a difficult thing to teach anyone. He stressed that, but stood aside for you to figure things out, bask in your own success or experience failure. He didn't harp on failure and criticize you for it. He pointed it out and expected you next time to just do your best and succeed.
You know few people in life that affect you that way and when you find them you hold them close.
